A joint federal/local law enforcement operation foiled an apparent terrorist cell located in Camden, New Jersey. Word is they were looking for a city that mirrored life back in their native Sarajevo--aside from the aquarium, Camden was a good choice. Details are sketchy at this time, but apparently these kooks were 'training' during singles weekends in the Poconos. Their target? None other than the lynchpin in our national defense: Fort Dix--home of such secret weapons as Joe Ganim, Ernie Newton, and Phil Giordano. You release those guys on the streets of Baghdad and watch out!
Bridgeport residents were elated to learn that the Mayor Eternal and Bridgeport's Moses will remain safe, secure, and be reelected upon their triumphant returns. A 2:30pm press conference has been scheduled to further flesh out these murky details. Stay tuned.
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It is likely that they were trying to disrupt the MOAB bowel movement technology, currently being perfected by Fabrizi and Caruso.
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